Is Therapy delayed, Therapy denied?

We are all familiar with the law maxim: Justice delayed is justice denied. Can the same be said of therapy?

My story with therapy started early this year when I attended Joshua Resource Center(JRC) inaugural event. I had planned to attend as an audience.Though I didn’t know I was suffering from the same malady as a Kenyan politician, the irresistible urge to talk at every and any event.

The event’s organizers were gracious enough to slot me in, and I talked about my upcoming book on Suicide Prevention, Skip The Rope. I took to the podium after the last “legitimate” speaker. As the event was coming to a close, I was still basking in the applause when my euphoria bubble got busted.

“You need to start coming for therapy!” Mrs. Isabel, the JRC founder, informed me in a terse though warm manner.

Were my psychological wounds that obvious? I knew I needed therapy, but hearing it from someone else made me feel a certain way. At least she should have said something about my upcoming book. I had learnt she was a respected counselling psychologist, but is that the way they solicit for clients, I asked myself.

(Fast forward months later, having tasted the  bitter sweet waters of therapy)

Three weeks ago, I was talking to my bro, and mid-conversation, I ended up blurting.

“You need to start going for therapy!”

My bro didn’t receive it well; it shouldn’t have come as a surprise, but it kinda surprised me. We are still trying to squash our “beef”.

My therapist told me (I have died to use that phrase for the longest), telling someone they need therapy is like gifting someone a deodorant. While it can be a practical and thoughtful gift, often it is interpreted as a suggestion that the recipient has body odor issues.

A few days later, as I was watching Season 4 Episode 6 of Being Mary Jane, I don’t know if it was a coincidence or the red car effect. Mary Jane was having a conversation with her niece about her son.

This is how the dialogue plays out;

Mary Jane: Would you consider taking Trevor to see a therapist?

Nicey: I would, I just don’t want him labelled as some kind of mental case.

Mary Jane: They would never label him that way.

After the reassurance, Nicey agrees that her son needs therapy. It seems like, other than a little nudge,we also need reassurance that it’s okay to go for Therapy. Now this is a coincidence, just after the previous sentence, we stepped out for lunch with a colleague.

 A car pulls up near us. Nowadays, with the rising cases of abductions, you just need to be wary. It turns out to be a cab carrying Mrs. Isabel.

We hop in and she pauses a YouTube video she is watching (Soul wounds; Healing the Hidden you by Stephanie Ike Okafor). After we step out of the cab, she informs us that healing is a continuous journey. I don’t know if it was hunger, daydreaming, or a combination of both, but I just managed to zone back in time to catch...

“……. that’s what we call unfinished business in psychology.”

I’m back at my desk. Full. My unfinished business of the day is to complete this writing. I can’t help but ponder how I have truly embraced therapy. My therapy journey started with group therapy, which marinated me for one-on-one therapy sessions.

After my initial therapy session, my therapist was ill, and I didn’t want to switch therapists as I felt we had formed a rapport. I joked about how traumatizing my traumas were that my therapist got fatigued and probably went to see a therapist. 

When she resumed, I shared the joke with her and she laughed her heart out before I proceeded to bear my hurt heart out.My current regret is why I didn’t start therapy early. I don’t know about you, but I can confidently say

Therapy delayed is Therapy denied.

I don’t want to hype or convince you to start therapy if you haven’t started yet. Here is what I would say. Do you remember the last time you were pressed and your bladder felt like bursting from holding it for so long? That feeling of relieving yourself is priceless, akin to the feeling of getting therapy.

That said, I would be an ostrich not to admit that therapy is not as affordable and accessible as it should be. I used to have a joke that went something like this: “I have been saving for therapy, unfortunately, I have a saving problem”.

Fortunately, some places offer free therapy if cost is a factor, and Joshua Resource Center (JRC) is one of them. If you are in Nairobi or its environs, you can dm JRC on Ig, Joshua –Resource, and Facebook; Joshua Resource Center for free physical one-on-one therapy.

If you are in therapy, let us know in the comment section if you agree that Therapy delayed is Therapy denied. If you haven’t started Therapy, we would also love to know what’s holding you back.

PS: One-on-one therapy sessions run from Monday to Friday

Group therapy (collective therapy) is on Thursday from 2 pm

Written by M.D.Njiru(A work of art &an artist in progress)

He is an author,a stand up comedian and a mental health advocate